When I was a Woodling and you were an Elf, And you were too young to look after yourself, I undertook to see you through, I did all you asked and a little more too. Each morning at breakfast you had open lips, While I ate your bacon, you ate my chips. And after we'd go to a nearby copse You did your firelighting while I did my knots. We preached high morals, free love and the rest; To stick to our scruples, we did our best. Each night as our fair little heads touched the pillow We stripped, we stripped, we stripped ... the Willow. Oh dearest, oh darling, I try to forget The tears of sorrow, the long year of regret. It was like losing my complementary half When you ran off with a member of Staff.